I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
