im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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