Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
