You really coming over, don't trick.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
