Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
