I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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