don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
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Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
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there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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