Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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