I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
