I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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