I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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