It's Friday. Sex?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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