One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
