The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
