2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
