I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
