haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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