doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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