Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she peed on how many people?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
