I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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