I must be too annoying 4 u.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
