This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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