You can't motorboat a personality
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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