So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
