This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
