It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
