ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
