I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
