I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
