She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
His nipple licking is glorious
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