do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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