i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im holly from the hills drunk
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
