With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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