therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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