people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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