u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
