The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
