if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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