Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
did i walk over a car last night?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
