I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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