I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
