Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize