Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
