I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
whose parrot is this?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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