I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My dick has a subreddit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
