We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
