If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
