Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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