new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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