Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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