you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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