i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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