absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
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His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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