Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize