just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize