Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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