The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
