he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
