so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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