Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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We left an ass print on the piano.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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Everyone says I win the strip club
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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