i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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