The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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